For the Likes

I am scared. I am terrified. What is going on with our society? The things people do for their two minutes of fame or a thousand likes… Has it always been like that or did it get this bad recently? Have I simply not noticed it before or, perhaps, perceived it differently?

I suppose, being a parent changes your opinion on many things. Especially on social media. And where some distance themselves and their children from the public eye, others make it their goal to get the world’s attention through their kids. Maybe I am being too dramatic, but I am absolutely shocked by what people are willing to upload online. And for what? Some just want the views, the likes, the fame, to become viral. But then again, what for?

And of course there are people who create content using their children to actually earn money online through becoming an influencer and getting sponsorships and what not. I am not saying it’s child labour. I am just honestly utterly perplexed. What happened to us? Why is chasing internet fame a goal in life of so many people?

I am sad. So sad by that. And it’s not just the children that sadden me. Although they are broadcast worldwide without yet understanding it. They are trained by their parents to say and do certain things so that the video appeals to the wider audience, they are taught how to pose, they are dressed in a certain way, and the list goes on, and it’s just wrong. They are not dolls to be used the way adults want. Just leave them be. Just let them explore, learn about the world, watch a butterfly flutter and an ant crawl. You don’t need to shove a camera in their face and show their life to the world.

But as I said, it’s not just the children that sadden me. The adults do so many disturbing and ridiculous things to get the views, the likes, the follows. And everything is staged these days. Everything. Everything is so fake.

I want to delete all my social media accounts. I absolutely despise the thing that the social media has become. I am terrified that my daughter will grow up in a world so narcissistic and self-centered, obsessed with showing off. I think I became too cynical, but I can’t help it. I don’t understand any of it anymore. Do we really need to take a picture of every meal and coffee we buy? I saw a child holding an ice-cream in the park, patiently waiting for their mom to take a dozen photos of it for the gram, asking in the end “Can I eat it now?..” This is just so wrong. Why do we think that the world needs to know our every move, every thought, every detail of our lives? Why do we care? Why can’t we just live and enjoy our lives, and not have the amount of likes define our success or even happiness?

I want to delete all my social media, but I haven’t. Two things stop me. One, I will lose touch with my friends who live all over the world. I want to be able to message them. And two, I am still writing my book and will need to spread the word about it somehow, once I finish it. Does it make me hypocritical?

I have stopped posting on social media soon after my baby was born, and I still get messages that I should come back. I can’t. I don’t think I will ever be able to. I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking she needs to seek the world’s attention, or that sharing your life with strangers is normal, or that you need to pretend. Man, the things people do for the likes…

I’ll tell you more. It’s subtle things too. There is this one Montessori profile I stumbled across on Instagram. It’s visually stunning. A beautiful set up at home, with a girl in every reel (because the profile is about raising this girl in a Montessori environment). She is dressed in a cute outfit in earthy tones, her hair is in cute buns, the flowing top is falling off one of her shoulders… Incredibly esthetically pleasing. Until I scrolled through the feed and noticed that on almost every thumbnail or picture her top is falling off her shoulder. She is two years old. I mean, I get it, it looks pretty. But I can’t get over the fact of how intentional it is. How staged. How fake. How adult, for a two year old to be posing like this. You might think it’s not a big deal. I think it is. I think the whole social media craze is a huge deal and we need to stop, or slow down, at least.

But I am not optimistic in this regard. I think it’s only going to get worse. With TikTok now every person and their dog think they must dance in front of the camera for the internet, in any place at any time. You might think “Gosh, just leave them be, they are living their lives to the fullest!” But the saddest thing is, I don’t think they do. I don’t think social medial brings happiness and freedom. I think it promotes anxiety and insecurities, false values and bullying on a whole new level.

But you know what’s ironic? I will post a link to this blogpost on my social media, so that you can come and read this. So, social media is here to stay. But let’s use it wisely.