Doing Too Much And Not Enough

If I could devote enough time to everything I wanted to do, I’d have to quit my job and learn to live without sleep. And yet, I keep taking on more and more activities because I want to try new experiences, learn new things, and, most importantly, find myself.

I never have a problem of being bored, having nothing to do. I genuinely don’t understand the struggles and complaints of people on quarantine, because I secretly wish I had an opportunity like that. I could use all this free time on the things I struggle to find time for. Being locked up at home with no commitments, no errands to run, no tasks and responsibilities sounds like heaven to me. Life of an introvert. Too bad, I wouldn’t get paid for it, so I definitely choose keeping my job over having free time to myself.

But I get asked sometimes on Instagram how I manage to do so much. And I can see why to other people it might seem like I have a lot on. Hours spent on weekly videos for my YouTube channel, posts on Instagram and bookstagram, and now I started this blog, not to mention the time it took to set up my website. I read all the comments and answer all the messages on my social medial platforms, which takes quite some time every day. Every week I study Mandarin with a tutor, have tennis lessons and play it for fun with friends, have a video game night with friends and family. I read at least one book a month, and now also work on my own book every day. And of course, I work full time, cook, clean and all this mandatory adult stuff.

But I wish I could do more. I want to paint again, play the guitar again, exercise, learn to dance, and spend even more time on all the things I am currently doing, but I can’t. Or maybe I can, but that would mean dropping something else. And I had to prioritise and cut things down already.

• I don’t spend time on the Internet. I don’t watch YouTube, don’t follow any blogs on Instagram, don’t scroll Facebook, unless I really need a few minutes to recharge and relax, or if I am looking for something specific. I don’t have TikTok, Reddit, etc. I don’t want to waste my life watching someone else’s, which is ridiculously hypocritical given my own presence on social media. But that’s the thing, I get enough of it from actively posting and answering people, so I don’t want to spend any more time there than I have to.

• I don’t watch TV. I have no idea what shows even exist, it would never occur to me to turn the TV on. I also don’t constantly watch series or movies. I know there are a lot of really good ones, but I am not ready to commit all these hours of my life to them, unless it’s something big like Game of Thrones, Stranger Things or Modern Family. That’s pretty much all I can remember watching in the past few years. Recently my husband and I watched The Crown – an episode here and there during dinner. Multitasking. Very efficient.

• I don’t play games much anymore. I used to spend hours, just zoning out and enjoying the escape. And I genuinely miss it. I love playing games. I want to finish Breath of the Wild and Let’s go Pikachu that I already have, buy all these other awesome quests and immerse into them, but I don’t allow myself to do it. I have to choose between them and everything else I want to do, and usually games lose.

So what am I trying to say? That you can always find time to do the things you want, if you truly want to. It might come with sacrifices, as you have to make a commitment to stop doing something else. I suggest starting with cutting down the unproductive things. Stop procrastinating. You’ll be surprised how much time it will free up and how much happier it will make you. I don’t know about you, but I always feel guilty wasting my time without a purpose and not achieving anything. So if you are struggling for time, find one thing that you can do less of in favour of the other you really want to do more of.

You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.

Charles Buxton

Unless you have kids, then you are screwed. But I heard it gets better after 18 years.