Have you ever heard of self-compassion? I think it’s a wonderful notion, I just wish I had it. They say, we are our own worst enemies, and I can’t agree more. We beat ourselves up about every mistake and are such harsh critics. Would you have scolded the person you love for something they’ve done wrong the way you do yourself? Would you treat them with the same level of anger and disappointment? I think not. You would most likely cheer them up and help them look at the bright side, convince them that their mistakes are not the end of the world and everything is going to be all right.
But why is it so hard to be kind to yourself? Why can’t we support ourselves when we do something wrong? I am an emotional person and take everything to heart. No one ever has been as harsh on me as I have. And to top it off, I am a perfectionist who first and foremost demands perfect results from myself. But I forgive everyone else. I understand that mistakes happen. I comfort them and I feel bad for them, because I don’t want them to be upset or stressed. I cannot bear to see people in pain, it breaks my heart. I just want everyone to be happy.
But I can’t simply let myself be happy, can I? No, that would be too easy. Instead I make sure to point out all the things I do wrong and take the things I do right for granted. You would never do this to someone else, would you? So why is it okay to be mean to yourself? In fact, no one else probably thinks much about all the things that you lose sleep over and get grey hairs. And the worst thing is when you diminish everything you do to the point where you feel helpless and hopeless. And then there seems to be no way out. You feel stuck, life will never get better, there is no solution. And that’s when depression hits.
You have to remember one thing: nothing is permanent. No matter how bad the situation is, it will not last forever. Nothing will. So you have to keep moving. Putting one foot in front of the other. And slowly but surely you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel and reach the exit.
You don’t have to control your thoughts.
You just have to stop letting them control you.
Dan Millman
Natalia Ma 